Heart Problems
by Mice Catchers
Summary: Nurses Abby and Alice escape from a certain Frenchman's uniform inspection to a joined rooms of Arthur Kirkland and Alfred Jones. As things proceed, they learn things about each other unsuspectingly. USfem!UK, and UKfem!US in a Hospital AU. Slight USUK...
1. Chapter 1

Yea, We don't own Hetalia. If we did…lets just say things would be a **whole** lot different.

õ.õ~ ───Ｏ（≧∇≦）Ｏ──── ~õ.õ

It was that time of the month again.

The one that every woman hated. Especially if you worked under a certain Frenchman's command.

It was Uniform Inspection Day.

Who's bright idea was if for the nurses to wear such scanty things? Pink, extremely small dresses that left any assets you had to be at the mercy of a perverted Frenchman. Of course, it didn't mean that there was just the Frenchman; there were still the elderly that were perverts… Which led to the constant tugging of your skirt- if it could even be called that- so as not to flash the nearest unsuspecting patient… It was nearly impossible to do anything without lifting the stupid skirt up, but jobs are important, the higher ups didn't even care since they got a kick out of it too.

Which makes you screwed.

Royally screwed.

Thus, the reason as to why Alice and Abby were practically running through the hallways- or speed walking for fear of the skirt going up higher than it should- to get FAR away from the Frenchman (who was halfway down the hallway and around the corner) and hide until the coast was clear. In the midst of their scramble for cover, there was a slight sign of hope. An open doorway.

"THIS WAY ALICE! WE STILL MIGHT HAVE A CHANCE!" Abby yelled, making a sharp left into said room.

The room itself was connected to another room, which didn't help quiet the bickering that was currently taking place. Nearest the door was a patient, a man with caterpillar like eyebrows who was yelling towards the other room which housed another patient, a man who was staring at the hamburger poster on the wall, practically drooling, and blatantly ignoring the other man. Both looked to be in their early twenties.

Practically jumping over the bed near the door, the American stopped dead in her tracks for a split second. In that second the man who was clearly yelling at the hamburger loving fool, shut up, not that the nurse noticed, especially since she started to climb into his bed. He was either enamored by her, or in shock. Most likely, it was both.

"A place to hide!" she sang in her mind before peeking out from her hiding place to make sure her friend made it safely. "I'll do anything if you hide us!" She whispered with a distinct American accent. The other young man finally stopped staring at the poster. The thicker eye-browed of the two was about to push her out, blushing from it all. The other man raised a thinner eyebrow, "How many times a year does a woman jump into a bed? Correction, _his_bed?"

Obviously, yelling from a chick, cursing British people (mostly his roommate) could wake most people from their reverie. Hand slapping down on the table in an effort to find his glasses, which he oddly enough, named "Texas", he tried to assess the situation. "Whoa, whoa, Artie! Just let her hide! It'll probably be the only time you'll get a chick in your bed while you're here!" He joked, noting the nurse who was clearly trying to burrow under the sheets with a stressed-out look on her face. He was just about to turn towards the window like he always did to watch for eagles when another nurse came barreling in.

"Abby, I swear to god if we get caught I will kill you." She hissed before slamming the door, locking it and running to the other occupant's room. "And you!" she pointed at the American in the bed, "Don't say anything to the bloody frog if he comes in here!" She continued her search for a cubby that would hide her, and she would have continued looking had the American not lifted up his sheets and patted next to him, implying she could hide in his bed. Her face immediately went blank, emotions unreadable despite the high level of sheer terror and stress that was coursing through her, split second decisions were made and she dove for the hiding spot. "We'll explain later, just DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT US BEING HERE."

Looking over at her Abby she saw the sliver of pink, ripping off her own cap she caught the attention of the British man and pointed above her head, then pointed at Abby. Thankfully, he understood, and mentioned it to her. She snatched it off her head just in time; someone was knocking on the door. Immediately, they both froze, knowing what was going to happen. The lock slowly turned, and then the door swung open eerily. Abby was counting hot dogs in her head to pass the time under the sheets as Alice was mouthing the words to all the tea recipes she knew. The patients in the room feigned sleep, hearing the footfalls of someone with boots.

Alfred knew the person would notice the lump in his bed that hinted at there being a person, so he slowly bent his leg, and shuffled over to imply the lump was from his other leg, which was actually Alice's. Abby was hidden under some pillows thrown down to make a more believable pillow lump beside him.

"Bonjour! Comment sont mes amants font?" (Hello! How are my lovers today?) The cocky Frenchman tapped the metal frame of the beds with something equally metallic to awaken the men. Both nurses kept their breaths stable, the American one almost having a panic attack from sheer terror of being caught.

It was first the Briton that "woke up", then the American patient with a long stretch of his arms. "What do you want? Bloody frog! Coming in here while we were sleeping!" A crossly response, and obviously, Dr. Bonnefoy didn't care. "Ah. Arthur Kirkland. How's that heart of yours?" He inquired without raising his head from the clipboard with health stats. He took the other bed's board, "And monsieur Alfred, you need to go on a diet. Those extra pounds are no good for that leg." Surprisingly, he hadn't made a comment on the lumps.

"I'm the hero! I don't need help with stuff like that!" The newly appointed Alfred pointed at the Frenchie, a full grin on his face.

Arthur took a pillow (from his other side) and whacked it at the American. "Shut it you piece of lard!"

He made a face of shock, "I'M NOT FAT! I'M FLUFFY!"

"Oh, the both of you are just releasing sexual tensions. Ohonhonhon, when you decide to get rid of them, I'm on speed dial. I am the best with that kind of thing." Dr. L'amour (he preferred that, but the joke among the female nurses that couldn't stand him and the male nurses was that he was called Dr. Desperate) winked at them, to which both of them gave him a face of pure disgust.

"I'M NOT GAY!" Alfred shouted at the professional.

Abby could feel Arthur's twitching, ready to attack the long haired blonde. In a low tone, "Dude, calm your tits." In response he bought down his fist on the pile, a signal to shut up. "Shut it!" He whispered harshly, still looking at the man in front of him. Dr. Bonnefoy raised an eyebrow, and scribbled something onto his personal sheet. "Speaking to himself- shame, I thought he was getting better. No more pain killers for you." The doctor wiggled the purple pen at the Briton.

_"No. More. Pain. Killers...?"_

He almost pushed the body out of his bed, but the promise reverberated in his mind. "Alfred…" He paused, reading, "no more dessert with those extra pounds." He had a sick cruel mind.

"BUT DUUUUUUUDE! WHHHHY? I'M GUNNA DIE!" The male American pounded on his sheets, "It is 'going to die', you twat." Arthur crossed his arms together, not looking down at the lump that was posing as his disfigured leg.

"I AM GOING TO DIE!" He raised his fists above his head, "Goodbye cruel world, it was good knowing you!"

Alice pressed her lips closed to not let the words "it was _nice_ knowing you, not _good,"_slip out.

The doctor put back the boards, chuckling at their disparity. "You won't die," He patted the Brit's feet to anger him further. "Wanker," came from the victim, under his breath.

He gave a smile, and started to leave the room. He paused at the exit, with his back to them.

"By the way, tell Nurse Jones and Nurse Kirkland their next inspection will be _extra_thorough. Ciao!"

Alfred forced himself to see if the coast was clear, and nodded to his friend.

Evidently please with the fact that the Frog had left, he politely (since he was of course, a gentleman, and he was in a good mood) tapped Abby's shoulder. In response the tension in her shoulders relaxed and a sigh of relief left her body. "Thanks dude, He's the worse." She mumbled from under the sheets.

In the meantime, Alice simply rolled off Alfred's bed, landing on her feet, and going towards Abby to drag her from the patient's bed. Stopping momentarily, she turned around and said "_Thank you_" before beginning to walk again. "Abby. Let's go, he'll probably be back. We need to think of an excuse…" She shuddered at the thought of his return.

Abby popped up from beneath Arthur's covers and nodded solemnly, "**The heroine will protect you!**" Alice merely gave her one of her famous glares that clearly said "Stop or else." Almost dragging her friend out the door, Abby saluted Arthur as thanks and went to open the door when Alfred called out.

"Aren't you going to explain?" Arthur kept his facial expression neutral to hide the surprise that the idiot could remember things, but nodded his agreement as he was curious as well.

Alice fixed her skirt for possibly the hundredth time that day, and looked up with a cold glare, "its inspection day for the nurses. And not the kind you're thinking. It's run by that bloody frog. Oh I wish I could kill him." She trailed off, almost hissing. Abby, standing behind Alice while fixing her own skirt as well, nodded, quiet for once.

"Wait… So what happens when you don't go?" Alfred, regaining his former glory as the idiot, causing Arthur to want to smack him, asked.

Abby froze while Alice shivered then spat out, "A story for some other time, we have to go back to work." Following that statement, she ushered Abby out the door. "See you guys later!" The American shouted from overhead.

"Wait! We have to come back tomorrow! They didn't tell me what they wanted!"

õ.õ~ ───Ｏ（≧∇≦）Ｏ──── ~õ.õ

This account is runned by two people, Cake and Chocolat~ Our home accounts are Cake-penguinwholikesfire and Chocolat is NoMoreMangaOrAnimeEqualsDead.

_Cake:_ I should be getting to write some chapters on somewhere else :'D –cough cough Money can't buy everything cough cough- We'll update this as often as Chocolat has her homework done..

Chocolate here, hope you enjoyed the first chapter of Heart Troubles! Fictions are so much easier to write when you're co-writing. Quicker too. I honestly don't know where this one is going since Cake is the one who started it, I'm just along for the ride - laughs - I don't know about her, but I'm okay with flames, so long as there's reason. In other words CREATIVE CRITISM THAT WILL BENEFIT US THE WRITERS. That's all. Thanks for reading!

That's right! Review and shiz! So you all can get free cookies! :D Critism is the best kind of review~

Till next time~


	2. Chapter 2

The following morning, the two were back, not at all as pressed for time as before, no, instead they walked in calmly and began performing their usual duties. Which involved waking up the patients; the male nurses who originally took care of the two had found out about their escape from "death" and decided to switch places with them since, clearly, they were more comfortable dealing with them than the perverted elderly. Anyway, the usual wake up consisted of either medicine, breakfast, or some nightmarish thing that would cause eternal terror, at least until they fully woke up. Today would be different, they simply borrowed a timer from the kitchen (they were extremely loud given the continuous bustle in the hospital's kitchen due to numerous patients and counting) and placed it in the center of the room, where it'd echo most, stepped back and covered their ears as they counted down the seconds. Both of our lucky nurses seemed to be in a decent mood, Alice's sour tune was decent today.

Needless to say, the jolt from such a loud ringing made the two practically hit the ceiling in surprise. "Good morning gentlemen~" Alice sang leeringly while Abby said the same, replacing gentlemen with "dudes" in her usual hyper manner.

"It's almost Valentine's Day! Free candy and chocolate!" Alfred was grinning ear to ear, replying back to the women. Arthur seemed to be thinking intently, but gave the ladies a nod.

"I know right! It's gonna be awesome! The chocolate for this time of the year is great!" The American Nurse did a fist pump, and in tune with Alfred, "Fuck yeah!"

Arthur gave a disapproving glance too the Americans. "Little idiots." he muttered with a slight chuckle.

"What are you guys going to do this special Holiday?" Abby asked without looking up from the pill cases. "Dr. Frenchie said no drugs for you, grumpy British person!" She added.

Arthur thought the Frenchman wasn't planning to go through with the "no drugs" policy. His eyes widened, about to scramble out of bed, desperate for his daily doses.

Abby leaned over to his side, "He said no more, but I know you need it!" He earned a wink, (which some how made his heart race).

"Alice!" The American called to her fellow nurse.

"What is it now Abby? Did you give him the wrong dosage or something?" Retorted said woman, who had just finished unrolling her leggings from underneath her uniform, she always did that given how short it was. Only on inspection day did she not wear them. However, her shoulders started to shake slightly at the memory of the last time her friend had given the wrong dosage to a patient.

Then she remembered the previous times and almost dropped the platter of hospital food on the floor in a hysterical fit of laughter. Luckily though, she managed to reach Alfred's bed before she collapsed.

"Hey! I haven't done that in months! It's. not my fault the patients were being so uncooperative!"

"One month. And yes, it was your fault." Alice managed to choke out from her current position, which would be roaring in laughter on the floor without a care in the world.

Abby couldn't help but smile; her friend hadn't laughed like that in years, much less smiled brightly at such things.

Alfred peeked over the side of the bed to look at the girl currently doubled over in tears. He stared at her until she chilled out, calmly eating his own food. "So why are you gals here and not the manly nurses we used to have?" he said with a mouthful of food.

"Oh quit yapping while you've got food in your mouth." Alice said breathlessly while Abby merely said with a shrug,

"They switched with us."

Arthur couldn't help but think it implied something deeper. But he needed those drugs so he stayed quiet.

"Alright Abby, what was it you needed?" Alice smiled as she gathered the other patient's food to place at his bedside. "Oh and Alfred? Stop stealing from his plate, you know very well what you shouldn't be doing."

He looked surprised, he'd been doing that for months and still the other nurses didn't notice. She noticed immediately. "Who is this chick?" he thought. Meanwhile his mouth had other plans since it decided to open and say "I'm the hero! Of course I know what I should be doing! And I'm helping that 'soddy old fellow' over there lose weight!" He crowed, and mimed his roommate's accent at the English-like words.

"I'm not a soddy old fellow you wanker! At least can eat what I'd like!" Arthur shot back with a glare.

"WAIT! THIS HERO CAN FIX THIS!" Abby interjected, her arms flung open wide. "Who ever can say the better pick up line gets what they want!"

"I'm not playing this child's game!" The male Brit exclaimed preposterously, crossing his arms across his chest. Abby giggled lightly at the huffiness of the Englishman.

"Dude, I could pick you up better then you trying to hit on me!" She added just to egg him on.

Alfred added a smirked and shouted, "Burn! Are you going to take that?"

"Fine! If you want to play it like that!" Arthur calmed himself, after all, the drugs were at stake here! Abby sat in front of the man of British nationality, "Come oooon! The Commie is gonna ask where I am soon!"

"I'm going!" Arthur tried to put on the sexiest look possible, which made him look more on the "stoned" side. Alfred was having a hard time keeping in the laughter in already. "Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye."

She blinked, "I do?"

"Nope, it's just a sparkle." He smiled a little, hoping that maybe he'd have a chance in this silly little battle.

"Do you have a Ditto in your pocket?"

Alfred perked up at this, "POKEMON!" His thoughts screamed at him as his eyes trained themselves on the fellow American in the room, waiting for the catch line eagerly.

"Because I can see myself in your pants." At least her attempt of being sexy was somewhat successful. Abby played with her hair idelessly, not fluttering her eyelashes like a bimbo in high school as she monitored his reactions slyly.

"That was quick and to the point" Arthur thought, feeling his face gain some heat.

"MARRY ME NOW!" Alfred practically roared at her, the Pokemon line was genius!

"Whooa! Dude! I don't want to date you! Americans are too fat for me!" She argued, her hands shooting up like she was being held up over a crime.

"BUT YOU'RE AMERICAN TOO!"

"Well foreign guys have sexier accents!" She yelled back with a clear argumentative attitude.

"Wait! That's right!" Alfred turned to the British nurse, "Alice," he stated using the best poker face he had, "That accent of yours is super sexy!"

"What does that mean about me? PRAT!" Arthur aimed for a pillow at Alfred's head, obviously annoyed with the fact that technically the American considered his accent to be "sexy"..

**DIRECT HIT!**

"HEY! DUDE! You have a sexy accent, but this girl has it better than you!"

All Alice could do was fight the intense urge in her hand that ever-so-desperately wanted to meet her face in an astounding display of defying gravity. "Are you all done with being idiots...?" She muttered, completely ignoring the compliment. Still, she couldn't help but chuckle lightly at the scene before her. Abby next to Arthur who was having a hard time repressing one of the slightest red hues that were spilling into his cheeks, and Alfred throwing a fit at Abby's reasoning.

She let a whispery sigh escape her mouth before plunging back into the hell that she considered quite bearable thanks to the three of them. It was better than dealing with "Dr. Frenchie" as Abby put it. "Hey! You do realize we have other patients to tend to? Including that communist arse. I don't know why you try Abby... I really don't."

Following that trailed off statement she heard a groan from Alfred and was suddenly hit in the face with a pillow where it made a violent "THUMP!" as the air left it. Stunned by the fact she'd been hit by a pillow, quite roughly might I add, her face displayed absolute surprise. That is, until her mouth curved into a delicate smile that made the shivers go down the American's spin. Her voice took up an octave, "Alfred, did you just hit me with a pillow?"

In response, he simply stared her down, not betraying the turmoil his gut was currently dealing with. It practically was screaming at him "DANGER! Abort mission! Deny!" And so he did. Only to see Abby's eyes widen slightly as they followed the arc of the now airborne pillow across the room where it audibly knocked the American man's head back a few inches. "What a throw! Have you considered joining a baseball team?" He asked enthusiastically.

The haughty smirk Alice had planted on her face quickly morphed into exasperation. She wanted nothing more than to slam her palm against her head again, "you're quite dense aren't you...?" She muttered dryly.

"I wanna cookie!" Abby shouted to Arthur while the other two practically screamed their _sexual tension_ as Francy called it.

"I'm not giving you a bloody cookie, nor do I have one!"

There was one sitting on his food tray, and it had yet to be swiped by a hungry girl sitting innocently beside him. It _accidentally_ went behind his pillow. "Come onnn! Artie!" She practically shook him for the precious dessert.

"My name is Arthur! Why can't you get that right?"

"Artie! Please!" Abby was already crawling around him for it, but he stopped her before she could sit on his lap. Alfred caught their positions, and began laughing. Arthur shoved her off along with the cookie, blushing various shades of red because of her repetitive asking.

"A-artie! Why did you kick me out?"

". . . ." He silently covered his face, calming himself in every way possible.

Alice laughed to herself before she began resuming what she'd been doing before, making sure the American ate what he was supposed to and not anything more. She turned around but flinched internally at the intense stare he was giving her. "Yes...?" She questioned, confused as to what was going on through his head.

"Alfred." He said holding out his hand to shake.

She looked at him in disbelief, "Are you stupid or something? We've already met haven't we? Just yesterday actually!"

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with trying to be polite."

Her eyes rolled at the thought that ran through her mind, "He has manners?" Nevertheless she shook his hand, "Alice."

"Now can I have Artie's food?" He grinned leeringly, watching her hopeful smile become more fake by the second.

"Hopeless. That's what you are." She replied. "But since they're not paying attention and Abby can surely babysit him some more _and it's not like they would mind too much_ I guess I'll give you some."

"Serious?" He said, wide-eyed in disbelief.

Alice put a spoonful of the contents of his roommates plate onto his own, winking at him, "You never saw it happen."

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><p>Author's Notes:<p>

Sorry for not updating this quickly, but don't worry~ We are continuing this, even if it finishes next new year xD


	3. Chapter 3

_Chocolat here since Cake is currently out a laptop for the week. So here's the third chapter~! Huzzah- I mean hooray! Sorry. Umm.. Personal meaning to that. Right. Anyway. Cake wanted me to let you ALL know that ABBY AND ALICE ARE NOT OC'S THEY ARE FEM!US AND FEM!UK. That is all. From her. From me though:_

_We don't own anything but the plot and your minds- I mean just the plot! Ahaha…ahaha… Cake we're going to need the MIB here in a bit. Not to worry civilians! We shall fix the problem quickly! Just please remain seated and uh… Enjoy the story!_

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><p>Alice hummed cheerfully, walking down the hallway to the boys' room, she had to make a detour to help out a nurse with a few fussy children. Abby was already there making sure their two new found friends had what they needed.<br>The bottom of her heels made small taps with the contact upon the floor, though oddly enough, it made more noise than the swinging bag, containing the pills for them, in her hand did. "Room 157..." She murmured absentmindedly, placing a hand on the door knob. A loud clatter gave a jolt to her free reigning thoughts.  
>"Sorry didn't mean to scare ya dudes." She heard Abby joke. "Just remembered something from what I read on your file." An unnoticeable whispery nervous laugh crept through the cracks of the door to Alice's ears. "So Alfred, how in the name of Lord Hotdog's name did you do that to your leg?"<p>

Truth be told Alice was just as curious; she'd seen some of the x-rays. He'd be lucky if they didn't even amputate it or at least set a few nails in. Clearly expecting such a pressing matter to be deemed a much higher importance above everything else, she sat down beside the door quietly, and listened.

Arthur stirred at the indication of his new (favorite; don't tell Alice now, and the world would blow if Arthur realized) nurse, and the instant swearing at the mentioning of the incident. The classic British accent began, "It's Alfred's fault why we're here. The bloody arse didn't know how to handle a rifle!"

The sound of ruffling went past the door, possibly meaning pillows were being tossed. A squeak of both a man and bed could also mean Abby adjusting herself on Arthur's bed without his just approval. The grin on both of the American's faces could be seen past the door for Pete's sake! Alice rolled her eyes, smirking at the mere picture of what was going on.

Alfred's laugh followed Arthur's silence, then a comment about how red his cheeks were joined the ongoing play. The British accent stuttered for a moment, then catching up again. "The prat decided to buy a gun. He received his license in a shady area. Alfred! I even told you to not even go there!"

"Shuddap old man! The Shack was a great place to get my license! I can shoot lots of things!"

"Like my foot!" A snort, and a little movement of fabric could be the shaking of a foot. Abby's laugh broke out at the mentioning of his foot, a male "ow" and a female "hey!" drifted through the door.

"Mean ole Artie!"

"My name isn't Artie! It's Arthur! Bloody hell, why can't you fucking understand that?"

"Then I just have to call you something else." The room went silent, Alfred's low chuckle was building.

"Maybe Eyebrows." It was on the seductive side, but Abby couldn't be sexy. She's American!

"YOU BLOODY TOSSER!" Alfred's laugh escaped violently, filling the room once more.

"Anyway, dude. I was trying to practice with the gun."

"WITH MY CHI-Oompf!" It seemed like Abby had begun to worm herself into the covers since Arthur began producing odd sounds.

"Then Artie _'Arthur'_ came out, trying to attack me! He's a bad guy!"

"Me? ME? ME? You were killing my priceless China! I tried to pull the damn rifle away from the bollock, then he shot one into my foot!"

"And it went up into the air!" Alfred chimed in afterwards, clearly enjoying the thrill of the story.

"Shooting his leg along with my chest somehow…" He grumbled before continuing, "It spun, and more shots followed. Someone called the police and I vaguely recall trying to strangle him when we were conscious and he was within arm's reach." Arthur finished up with a choking mime.

Alfred pretended to claw at his throat. "No. Darth Eyebrows. I'm. Not. Your. Son." He rattled out, still faking asphyxiation and making good use of all the movies he'd seen.

"You're absolute prats to each other aren't you?" A mildly amused female British accent broke the family like happenings between the two. She had snuck in during the final portion of the story knowing something entertaining would start to happen near the end of the story.

The two looked up, surprised, having not heard her come in of course. Alice duly noted the lack of an American within Arthur's bed. As it turned out, she had simply taken a few pillows and sat beside him, covertly holding his hand. "Shame… My assumptions were wrong…" She thought. Meanwhile Alfred was giving her a strange look.

Still a little off guard from the dejection of being incorrect in her guesses, what Alfred said to her made her whirl around in surprise, her green eyes wide with shock and her appendages stiff.

"Would you be the Leia to my Han Solo since I'm not Luke?" His mysteriously deep sky blue eyes had a kind of amusement to them. "**Woo the only British person in the building that you're actually interested in! **Shut up conscious-person... Thing... Whatever you are..."

Abby smirked from her spot beside Arthur as the man himself gaped quite like a gasping fish.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR BLOODY FRIED MIND?"

"Explosion número uno." Abby jumped slightly before this thought occurred.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? I HAVEN'T HAD ANYTHING IN MY BRAIN FRIED! I'VE WORN ALUMINUM HATS WHEN I WENT LOOKING FOR ALIENS!"

"Mad. That's what you are. I think the medicine the previous shift gave you is ca-" Abby muttered, getting progressively louder and the filter for courteous language was disappearing quite quickly as the banter continued.

"Tony is my friend! You will never find him!" Alfred shot back, followed by Abby trying to get into a conversion about this Tony character and "what the bloody hell did they give him?" and such.

"Explosion numéro deux…" Arthur contemplated before shaking his head violently, "I've been around that frog too much to be thinking in French…"

"At least he doesn't try to hump your leg like a dog!" Her grin was battling his glare, and squeezed his hand beneath the pillows to comfort him. Trying to resume what train of thought he started off with, he started up again. Finally clearing his head, he registered one of the previous statements his roommate had said and sighed, muttering, referring to the aluminum hat, "That he has…"

A final squeeze of their joined palms, and a hopeful grin, the American Nurse doing this before shifting away from him slowly.

Abby simply let out a small breath as well and rolled her eyes knowing that the argument would rise until Alice would be so brash that the words would string together and cause her enough shame to take a week off and drink tea as a medicine. At every. Hour. Of. Her time. Off. Save for sleeping of course. Which really wasn't a problem, but then she'd hear about her regrets of saying such things to no end when she came back from work. "She needs to get laid." Abby mused, and her eyes lingering a bit too long on Alfred for that one made her mind race at creating a plan, but first things first…

She slid off the bed silently, a rarity for her, to be silent at all really, and snuck up behind Alice. Arthur watched, confused, whereas Alfred was encouraging the ruckus, egging Alice on.

Abby procured a brown paper bag from the bag of medicine that Alice brought and blew it up. She stepped carefully beside Alice, she'd done this before, and being behind her was _not_ a good idea. The first time caused such havoc within the small room of old people. Almost as good as dressing as the grim reaper to work on Halloween. A grin graced the face a devious young woman.

BANG.

_Absolute silence_.

Save the breathy surprise from Alfred and Alice.

"Hiya guys! I don't think the patients on the other end of the hospital heard you. Can we shout louder?" Abby grinned maniacally.

A more than well known glare from Alice answered her. The bewildered look on Alfred's face, Arthur noted, clearly stated he'd blurted out the proposition on impulse. "His mouth must not have been in control with his brain…" He refrained from a face to palm contact. His leg hurt badly enough.

Alice almost made her way over to strangle her best friend, but the French laugh coming down the hallway marked the time to go.

"See you guys later! I'll make sure the next shift gives you drugs Eyebrows~!" Abby ruffled Arthur's hair, struggling against the urge to kiss his cheek before the shift ended.

"Come on Alice! I'll make sure you get your boyfriend's number from Artie 'cuz Frenchy is coming our way!" She pointed at the door, already edging her way out of it in a mutual effort to escape the possibly undocumented molester _and_ her soon to be annoyed figurative sister.

The sounds of laughter down the hall from Abby followed the wordless surprise on the only female occupant of their patient's room's face. Another laugh echoed mercilessly down the hall from the "damned Frenchie" (Alice's words of course). Alice didn't even register it, the heat was creeping up her neck, and she most certainly blamed it on anger (though that wasn't the case and she _knew_ it). What she _did_ know, (besides unconscious other things) was that she had to kill her best friend. _The coldest, most violent, and bloodiest way possible without leaving a single trace to me…_

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><p><em>Chapter 4 should be out soon, we hope… Testing is coming up and stuff for me, dunno about Cake…<br>Another thing. The whole "explosion numero _" one was in Spanish, one in French. However! In both! BOTH, explosion was though in ENGLISH. Call it broken language usage if you will. It's better than hand signals. In a story I mea-ugh. You know what I mean. And the whole Alice killing Abby, not happening. She's just pissed._


End file.
